(Mood) swings and roundabouts

Let's see if I can organise my thoughts:

1.Cycle update
There isn't much of excitement to report, unless you like hearing about hot flushes in glorious detail. Which you aren't getting. So nerr. Tomorrow is first bloods and learn how to be a junkie day. Hooray and stuff.

2. The poo monkey
Gorgeous as ever...snotty as ever..and food fussy as ever. In other words, and entirely normal almost nineteen and a half month old.

I continue to be amazed and flabbergasted at her language development and how quickly it is taking place. Her mind is simply soaking up the English language. Our girl now sings along to her favourite wiggles songs. She can sing the "'ans in air/rockabye bear/ bear sleep/ shh shh shh" bit of her eternal favourite, "Rockabye your bear". She also sings bits of "Numbers Rhumba", "Dorothy the Dinosaur"- especially the spelling bit!- and the does the most hilarious version, including actions of "Quack quack" (imagine a toddler squealing quack! quack! cockadodledo with delight as she mimics the Wiggles' funky dance moves).

Little miss also loves participating in negotiation/decision making conversations..which is fantastic as we are seeing less and less of the dreaded tantrum face as a result. She is quite happy to tell you when something is "nice" or "better" or "enough", and will answer either "okhay" or "no when you tell her something like if we do x first, you can watch the wiggles after that. The poo monkey is also quite clear when she wants to join in ("Abi too") or do something for herself ("abi do it"). Simply amazing.

Our girl is now getting into all things three...although the obsession with two remains. Two new obsessions are kissing her reflection in the mirror, and pointing herself out in photos..even as a baby!

I could go on, and on...and I usually do...but I want to get onto another topic that's been on my mind when the mood unpredictably turns that wee bit darker...

3. The dumb/assholish comments people make when they find out you're doing IVF

This has been done well by others, but here's my take on a few of the hoary old chestnuts that have popped up again lately:

You're doing IVF again? But I heard from a friend of a friend who did IVF for number one, and then fell pregnant naturally with number two because her body knew what to do...

Oh, how nice. I suppose you also knew someone who was just about to adopt and the same thing happened? Stupid me, I forgot that fertility problems are a female only issue. Of course it's up to me to miraculously make our male factor issue disappear with the magic powers of my previously occupied uterus. I mean, it's also up to me as to whether we have a girl or a boy right? Off with my head if an X rather than a Y sperm is involved in fertilization. Tell me,
how many years of biology did you do at school?

But you've already got one beautiful child and you should just be happy with that...

I am happy, indeed blessed with my beloved and precious daughter. Now, which one of your kids are you going to hand back?

Doesn't IVF increase you risk of cancer because it isn't natural?

Great, thanks for your support. I'd tell you about the research done to date but it's clear to me that you don't want to hear something that doesn't back up your own assumptions. Speaking of unnatural, how about that heart/asthma/diabetes medication of yours...

And of course, my all time favourite:

You guys need to do IVF? I only have to look at my husband and I'm pregnant. Really, we are as fertile as the Nile delta,blah blah boring..

This really, really should be answered with a fuck you asshole. Would you speak to a friend who has told you that they have terminal cancer about how healthy you are, and that your GP told you you would be running marathons at 80? I don't care about the fact that you and your partner just have to shag to make a baby. Congratulations on finding the right hole (and thanks for your other helpful advice about doing it "right"). Now fuck off, this isn't about you at all.

There. Much better.