Press pause

Sometimes it would be so lovely to be able to press pause and simply savour the moment, drink in the amazingness of your children right this very instant. Because if there's one thing I can't help but notice about their burgeoning little personalities, it's blink and you have missed it. The particular quirk, the turn of phrase, the sound of their giggle, the play of emotion across their face.

At other times I simply want to press fast forward. Especially when the fiend pays a flying visit, wreaking havoc at a time when I so desperately want to go with the flow and be in the moment. This morning was a particularly nasty confidence crusher. Let's just say after a brown paper bag type ten minutes in which i thought I would try and let E* wind down to sleep, I then entered the room only to find that she had literally shat herself as she cried. And promptly threw up all over the bed myself, such was the swirl of panic and remorse that overtook me at the time.

Onward and upward.

A* is just awe inspiring at the moment, and I am truly privileged to be the mother of such an incredible individual. I know we all talk about how we start to see our children's personalities develop right from birth, but the stage she is currently at, it's just so....so obvious. Intense. So clear to see the kind of bright, intelligent, thoughtful and passionate human being that she is and will become.

Today she started what will be the first of two days per week of childcare, up from one day per week. After some initial reluctance she took it bravely in her stride, even getting excited once we turned up at the centre. A momentous event occurred before we even left the car. She asked me to look after her beloved Snugzeez as she didn't need to to take them with her anymore. I was utterly gobsmacked. These two security blankets had been with her all day, every day for the past almost twelve months of childcare. I asked if she was certain and she was resolutely clear.

Even so, I popped them into her backpack when she wasn't looking. Just in case.

Once inside she was raring to go outside for outdoor play, and made a beeline for the bigger kids area. It's clear that she wants to go into the bigger room, and she is just so ready for it, but we will have to wait until a space becomes available. I am hoping one will open up soon after her third birthday, as A not only wants but needs the formal preschool program. Not only is she brilliant with her numbers, she is now showing rapidly developing skills in recognising written words plus she has started drawing faces. My clever little monkey.

It was with heart in mouth that I proudly watched my girl blow me a confident kiss goodbye as she ran off to play with the older kids. I only hope that she has found the courage to voice her wants and needs in the care environment, as it is still perplexing to me that some of the carers haven't even heard her talk when she is so expressive and with such a rich vocabulary. On a basic level I do have my concerns about how she will handle toileting, as she wears undies without accident now, but still sticks exclusively to the potty.

I guess I will find out in another hour or so when we pick A up after E's nap. In the meantime I will have a little smile to myself about how A will cut you off mid sentence/explanation with a "I know, I know.....I KNOW", or will sometimes whinge and when I go to reprimand her will suddenly stop and say cheekily "I was only joking mummy". I'm in trouble.

She absolutely adores her little sister too, and is forever showering her with cuddles and making up ways to make her laugh, rolling all over the fall to encourage miss E to get on the move. I only hope that this beautiful relationship survives the teenage years.

E is blissfully sleeping as I type...simply because it is daytime and not night time of course. She shows all the signs of having a wickedly cheeky personality, as she spends so much of her awake time laughing at her sister. And her parents, especially whenever we are making a futile attempt or seven to get her to go to sleep before ten at night. She is winning on that score by the way, having spent most nights this week giggling and rolling all over the fall in front of the late evening telly, shaking her head from side to side in glee as her sleep deprived parents look at each other in bewilderment.

She still luuurrrves her boob and shows little interest in solids but is still stacking on the weight. It is quite obvious when she wants to feed now because she grabs at my top and makes funny little ohhh ohh sounds. We still prefer to breastfeed close to sleep time, as it is the surefire way to slow her down. Besides, when she is awake and up she is far too busy to feed, and will do that dreaded suck, suck pull off, wriggle around, latch back on, suck, suck pull off again routine that is so familiar and so infuriating to most mums breastfeeding 'older' bubs.

Everything within reach is of absolute fascination to her and must be mouthed immediately. Unless it's a baby toy, god forbid. The remote control is the most keenly sought after object at the moment so her father can have no doubts as to her paternity whatsoever. Such a determined little soul...

..And that is where I must leave you for now, as said girl seems to be stirring. Hopefully she will roll over for a few extra zzz's instead of cot induced concussion thanks to her new airwrap.

Either way, it's time to post and leave the internets alone for another day.

* Just so you know, from now on I will be using my children's initials in an attempt to spend more time documenting my thoughts and less time typying out pseudonyms. So A= cheeky monkey girl and E= the pixie monster. Mr hissychick will remain same. Unless I feel like calling him rude names.