A wee triumph

Yes, Christmas was a delight for the girls and therefore us parents*.

Festivities aside, I want to beat my chest and proudly proclaim that cheeky monkey girl has finally, finally used the potty for wees.

Yes, we had to set a deadline, ie "the day after Santa comes there'll be no more nappies in the day".

Yes, we had to ignore the tantrums and begging that ensued from the world's most reluctant to give up nappies before they turned twenty one toilet trainer.

Yes, we parents were slightly freaked when it took until 5 pm for the first wee to arrive even though there had been no accidents all day and said child had drank more fluid than it was humanly possible to store in her bladder for that time.

Yes we had to sit our girl on the potty for about half an hour at a time and alternate between:

• simple reassurance "(mummy/daddy/snugzee/hi-5/the girl in your potty book/the omnipresent god that we haven't introduced the concept of to you just yet aren't scared to use the toilet"),

• role modelling ("sure honey, you can watch mummy wee, i'll stand up tall enough so you can crouch down and watch, no you don't need to know what that string hanging out of mummy's bottom is")

• peer pressure ("all of your friends are using the toilet, don't you want to try as well so that you can still be in with the cool kids without having to buy their affection just yet?")

• reverse psychology ("i bet you can't use the potty" "no, don't agree with me (oh ffs where is that parenting manual again)...")

• visual and tactile aids ("see this warm jug of water? now pop your hands in and make a trickling sound, now see mummy pour the water out into the sink in a gentle stream, that's what we want you to do (hee hee, wonder if it really is true that you can make someone pee their pants by dipping their hands in water)....no wait, don't you tip it out as well...ok stop crying, mummy will clean up the water you've tipped all over yourself...")

• bribery ("we'll give you a chocolate frog! a car! your inheritance! just please...one teeny tiny wee....")

• threats ("if you don't do this snugzee gets it and we withdraw all parental affection for you for now and evermore..")

OK, so I made one of those up.

Anyway. Our girl did one wee in the potty yesterday, and two today. Woo hoo!

Just don't ask about the poo. One dose of parachoc, we're still awaiting results. Watch this space if you dare.

In other news, the pixie monster has accepted a whole teaspoon of delicious, lovingly prepared food from a jar. More on that some other time.

*notwithstanding gift issues/lack of sleep/extreme pre lunch tension followed by arrival of post pregnancy period number two. Whatever.