Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Dirty thirty

And so dear friends in the computer, I am finally back. It was a longer than scheduled blog hiatus courtesy of our friendly plumber, who happened to cut our phone line while we were away...blah blah boring, cut long story short we have our precious broadband again. For now. Until a possum chews through our temporary (read we will have this for months) above ground phone cable. Or something.

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All in all, a great holiday. Didn't want to kill the ILs, enjoyed Commonwealth Games cycling and athletics, actually got some time to go out alone with my hubby (to dinner! And a movie! On two separate occasions!), caught up with a friend, shopped, read etc etc. Insert your own appropriate holiday cliches here.

The poo monkey had a fabulous time as well, I mean what 13 and a half month old doesn't enjoy exclusive attention from devoted grandparents, a ride on the Carousel on the Geelong foreshore, first tastes of chocolate and icecream in a cone and the feel of sand on one's toes?

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Yes, I survived turning thirty. It was a close call, seeing as the day prior to the big three-oh I discovered that there is now a face cream designed to fight wrinkles and pimples and that it is marketed at people like me. I handled the actual event with grace and calm and dignity. Truly. It had nothing to do with the small token gift that hubs procured for me from Tiffany and Co. (once he got past security at the door, union shirt and all). No, nothing at all.


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The poo monkey came back from Melbourne a much more mature girl, surely she could easily pass for fourteen months now. We're cruising baby, and using "more" and "all gone" in their proper context for both food and play type situations. Fuck baby signing, my girl is forging ahead with English.

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Hubs and I have a date with our IVF doc next week, a direct consequence of my innocent email enquiry as to whether all our test results had shown up anything interesting (and for a total of $600 of tests to date I'd like to know all the details). His reply? We should definitely come in for a chat, "nothing too serious", but an appointment is needed before cycling.

Have to admit to feeling a little bit uneasy about this. I know that this is most likely to be about hubs' sperm antibodies (hey, are we at 100% yet?)...but part of me is freaking out at the thought that something has shown up for me.

Oh well, we will find out next week ($130), taking our current pre cycle expenses to one grand. Remember this is before we fork out $3000 for a cycle. And you wonder why I am returning to part time work next month. Got to pay for all of this somehow.

Wonder how many bottles of shagfest wine that would equate to for a smug fertile couple?

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One last thing. Received a belated happy birthday email from a long time friend today, a bit of a coincidence because said friend was in my dreams* last night. When I told my friend about their guest appearence in REMland, their response was:

"Was I good?"

Can you guess the gender of my friend?

* For the record it was one of those weird dreams you have that are full of people and places all mishmashed together in a confusing and incoherent way. It was the direct result of a restless night's sleep due to the poo monkey having a mild fever. She was (and is) fine. I simply couldn't sleep properly. Oh yeah, and if I am going to have a sex dream I would at least hope to be joined by George Clooney, or Orlando Bloom, or that delicious daddy Lior. Sigh.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Up, up and away

Tomorrow I am going to be THAT woman...you know, the one on the plane with the baby that no one wants to sit next to.

We're off to Melbourne for ten days (apparently there is something called the Commonwealth Games coinciding with our visit...as well as my dirty thirtieth birthday, oh yay) and will be offline for that time. I have no intention of traumatising myself with my IL's dial up connection. Living with the IL's will be enough.

Just kidding. Maybe.

In other exciting news, the poo monkey now says 'all gone' at the same time as gesturing with her hands. Pure genius*

* I am not biased at all. Not one bit.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Digging for gold

The new skills just keep on coming, my little poo monkey. You now point to your hand and squeal "'ans!" whenever mama asks where said appendages are located. You display a similar level of enthusiam for pointing out your toes.

Not sure about this finger up the nose stuff though. Charming. I guess at least we get to avoid the hysteria that ensues all tissue propelled booger stealing sessions....

Friday, March 03, 2006

Shocker

It's been a:

stroller tipping*

almost choking**

diarrhea erupting ***

no sleep forthcoming ****

kind of day.

Next !

* Backwards with the poo monkey inside that is- when I stopped at an ATM to get some cash out. Thankfully my girl was not hurt. Think I am going to have to lug out the monster pram even when shopping. Am completely flabbergasted at how easily my stroller went over due to a combination of sloping path, a bit of a breeze...and (ahem) my handbag on the handlebar. We all do it, and we shouldn't. Never again.

** The poo monkey managed to get a double stitched large sequin off a top from a reputable kids' clothing label and put it straight in her mouth. I did not see this actual event (happened in the thirty seconds it happened to be in the bathroom). Thankfully I noticed that she was 'chewing' on something and managed to extricate the offending item in the millisecond before she swallowed it. A certain clothes manufacturer will be getting some rather sternly worded correspondence shortly. I should have thought to remove the sequins from the top myself (it was a gift)...but surely it is the responsibility of the manufacturer to ensure that their product is safe for children to wear... If we dressed our babies as babies rather than mini adults this whole potentially very scary episode would have been avoided.

*** Dimetapp appear to also loosen poo as well as ear and nose goo. Sigh.

**** The poo monkey appears to have given up on daytime sleep in her cot, preferring to crash out for a 30 minute powernap when out and about. Hoping this is a temporary side effect of her current ear and teething mini dramas. Just want my poor little chook to get some rest so she can get better and take on whatever developmental leaps she fancies to master next.