Friday, June 30, 2006

Second thoughts- part 2

So I am having second thoughts, especially introducing the poo monkey to the Wiggles' song "Rock a bye your bear", which now has to go on repeat in the car. The song is one and a half minutes long, the trip to my parents' place takes 45 minutes.

You do the maths.

Is it just me, or can you picture that song in place of "Stuck in the Middle With You" in the infamous ear scene in Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs?

Anyway on a more serious note, I have been doing a fair bit of navel gazing lately. In short, I want #2...but I don't want the reality that goes with #2:

1. IVF
I don't want to do all the snorting, shooting up, bulking out, dildocaming up and spinning out again. Insert a whiney 'it's not faiirr' here, especially as there have been a number of new pregnancy announcements in my life lately. From people who just had to shag their husbands. Imagine!

2. Witching hour
I'm crap at it with only one child, as the poo monkey kindly pointed out two weeks ago when she sank her fangs into my shoulder in a display of frustration that was only slightly less rational than mine. Enough said.

3. Career suicide
You can manage work with one, we are so lucky in that my parents look after the poo monkey the two days that I work every week...it would be pushing the friendship to throw another munchkin their way. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I was stupid enough to put in for a more senior position at work and that the interview is at the end of this month? Torn being trying to have it all (and some decent money)...and heading off down the Mummy track. Bah.

4. Living here
We live in the Blue Mountains. Both hubs and I work in the city. The commute is horrendous, up to two hours each way. It's so bad that the poo monkey and I actually stay with my parents on the days that I work- because they are only on hour's commute from my job, and hubs tries to organise his work travel to coincide with those days. Great for the marriage and all.
Not to mention that I am sick of our house. Yes, it's a beautiful area but we can't really go outside with our girl because of the dodgy, dodgy layout of the yard, with head splitting potential just trying to get into the car. I need an excavator and a licence and I would level this sucker I tell you. The yard, that is, not the house.

5. Thyroids ahoy.
Latest blood test looking OK, what is not OK is having to wait until October to see an Endocrinologist to best work out how to manage my condition before we have completed our family. Stupid gland, couldn't you have waited another five years before having your hissy?

Common sense dictates that my feelings about 1 through 5 need to be resolved before we trudge down the Assisted Conception TTC path again. So why do I feel so teary whenever I see a newborn, and my heart beat so fast with that niggling and mostly irrational fear that I may never get to experience all of that again?

Sigh. Guess we should get through hub's surgery first (yes there's that too).

ETA: Just realised that the poo monkey is seventeen months old today. Will have to get around to a special post about that another time, there are so many new and amazing skills and developments to report and i fear I won't do my girl justice in my current mood.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Second thoughts- part 1

So I am having second thoughts about some of the trivial issues in my life. You know, TTC #2, work/life balance, where we live, whether to flush the stupid thyroid medication down the toilet, consequences be damned....

Sigh. Too tired tonight to blog properly. Will be back some other time (inlaws arrive tomorrow).

On a lighter note, the poo monkey's favourite new word is booger. Don't ask, 'cos I am not telling.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Sixteen months

And so my little poo monkey, you have just celebrated your sweet sixteenth. Month that is.

Where does the time go?

You are again going through a major developmental leap, in the last week you have absolutely mastered shape sorting, and understand that you have to align quite complex shapes before you pop them in your shape-O. You never put the ellipse in though, you are happier running around with it saying "Egg, gegg" after your (still) favourite food in the whole wide world.

You also love your puzzle board, not so much fitting the shapes but telling your Daddy and I what each one represents. We still laugh how all cats are "Dude" (after our very own beloved moggie)...and that your favourite picture piece is the "cake! mmmcake!" one.

So...we have loads of words coming at a rapid fire pace, and a few more simple sentences/phrases to boot. It is so funny the way you say "up" and then "down" with a rather plummy british accent when you've had enough of being up in our arms. You cracked us up with "Ohh tea...hot tea" when you spied mummy's regular cuppa this morning and you have absolutely floored your daddy with your obsession with the word bra and the fact that you love to pull your mummy's top back to reveal the brassiere before poking around for the "boob" contained therein. All this from a girl who weaned at ten months. Go figure.

I have not mentioned it before, but you are still obsessed with brushing your own and others' hair, and the only way to get you to put up with being moisturised after a bath is to allow you to put cream on the face of whoever is dressing you! You also love to run away at the mere mention of the words bath, let's get dressed/change your nappy or time for bed. Cheeky monkey. Now if only you would run away when mummy is on the toilet, instead of wanting to climb "up" or squeal "poo". Toilet humour starts far too early for my liking.

You are really taking off in the walking department, and want to run rather than stroll everywhere you go. You had your first really major stack last weekend on the pavers, just before we were about to leave for a wedding, scraping your little nose and half of your face. It has healed amazingly quickly, and does not see to bother you in the slightest (only Mummy who has borne the brunt of the "oh my goodness what happened to your girl (should I ring DOCs)? type enquiries this week. For the record, ask your father, I missed the actual event)..

...we do need to work on those gross motor skills though, and better still start transforming our backyard from baby death trap to child friendly play space. It's so hard knowing how much I need to give you the freedom to explore and take a few falls without having a mummy meltdown in the process!

Love you so much, our little girl. Now I must log off as you are waking, ready to explore the afternoon with the fresh eyes and wonder that is so unique to the toddler world. I can't wait to share it with you x